The Nebulous Times

Watching the sea, being with my mom and dad, feeding wild pigs in front of our house, taking walks in the sea side…

Looking at these, I feel at ease, like I’m no longer living a life, rather I’m dreaming, or in between. I no longer count the hours that led to the end of the day, the sun comes down too quickly anyways.

Depression, boredom? What are those things when you don’t have any time to worry about them?

This is my break from life and the city.

Until this year, maybe even until tonight, I didn’t understand why everyone (older people) loved the calm holiday spots. Now that it is slow around our spot, I finally do. This is the place where you come to take a break from all your worries and problems, this is where the time stops, unless you literally watch the clock.

Most importantly, this is the place where you forget about life for a while, not in a bar corner listening to the piano man sing about it (it will work too, just not in this way).

The bubble I’m in is no good for long though, there are still people out there, living the chaos; hungry in the cities, dying in the streets, crying in the sidewalk, shouting for help.

Do I hear them, do we hear them? Knowing does not mean hearing, caring does not help.

I do not help them, I see them, most of the time I don’t believe them. Honestly, sometimes I look away, then spend time thinking about why I didn’t help. This is how things are for many people, we are not bad, we are just ignorant.

When I do help, I help women with children who do not beg for help, we give them food, not money. Of course it makes a difference for them, but what about the others?

What about the migrants? What about everyone else who suffers in this world? What about the humanity, I know I lack compared to many nice people?

I live in my ‘nebulous of life’ this summer, then switch it to the winter version of it.

Again knowing my lacking parts is one thing, fixing them is another.

Marissa ‘Riss’ Demi


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